This is an entry from my now dead xanga (www.xanga.com/drift1would). Something very strange happened to me and thought it would be worth rehashing…It has been preserved for historical value :P
Sunday, April 02, 2006

Bird?

So here’s a harrowing tale…it’s worth the read!

i walked into my apartment 1/2 hour ago, and there’s a BIRD sitting in the living room. no windows are open, no doors are open. and there’s a BIRD in the living room! so i very very carefully whip the balcony window open but the bird darts into the screen 3 times and flies away. i won’t lie. at this point…i’m terrified. i’m clutching to an umbrella like it’s Excalibur ready to ice this bird if it so much as looks at me. of course, i can’t see it.

was it more scared of me than i of it? well that principle works with bears, so let’s extend it to cover the entire animal kingdom.

anyway, the bird has decided to take up residence in my roommate’s room. this bird’s smart! this room is about as close to a bird’s nest as you’ll ever see. the clothes sprawled about the floor and bed make for great nesting places.

thud thud thud, it tries to fly out the closed window in that room.
i get on all fours and slooooowly make my way to the window to liberate my new friend. unfortunately i can’t see where it is in the Lost Land of Clothes that is my roommate’s quarters. one bad move…one rustle that echoes in the silence and that bird takes flight with a fury only equaled by my womanly scream and subsequent dive for the door. i swear it was heading right for me!

crap…

what do i do? i shut the door like a coward and call management on a sunday afternoon. you win this time, bird! i’m sure during this time the bird was considering what life would be like in this new comfortable land. speaking for it, i would have been pretty pleased.

hmm…the maintanence guy is 30 miles away. tells me – “ laughing under his breath – “ to open the patio doors, close every other door, and chase the bird out. freak…it’s time to man up.

so i did the appropriate opening and closing, lift up a quick prayer, take a deep breath and re-enter the fray. with my trusty umbrella in hand, i triumphantly push my way into the portal that leads to the Lost Land and drop to my belly (side note: espionage video games have prepared me well for such occasions). that bird doesn’t know who it’s messing with!

back to the action, i toss nearby objects about to rouse it. an empty box, a pair of shorts, a book didn’t do the trick (before you label me cruel, i didn’t throw a wrench, an amp (!!), or a guitar, after all, i’d become quite attached to it by this time). i was convinced that by some miracle, the bird had phased through the wall or window. gaining courage with every inch i boldly and deftly advanced like an Allied soldier on the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. then like a BOLT OF LIGHTNING, the bird shoots out of the room and out the open patio door! there were but two sounds: my pre-pubescent shriek and the bird’s victorious cry of FREEEEEEEEEEDOM! you and me both, my friend!

somehow i survived this dangerously close encounter with a tiny pigeon.

no animals were harmed =)

to redeem this…”Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every other living creature that moves on the ground.” – Genesis 1:28

i think i exercised a little dominion today!