Sensory OVERLOAD

this will be mostly confessional and probably entirely nonsensical.

i tend to have a lot of jumbled thoughts and from time to time, these jumbled thoughts create a knot in my brain. i wouldn’t call it depression or an episode or as some people have commented: “my time of month”. more so, i think it’s just a general malaise that probably occurs because i’m not doing what i’m supposed to be doing.

that sounds overly dramatic. (things tend to take on that tone when i’m mired in this state.) what i mean is, i think God stops me in my tracks every once in awhile, not because my life isn’t good but because He wants more of me. this day-to-day stuff is fine but in it, i often lose my sense for eternal significance. i’m not saying that every moment should have the pressure of eternal consequences. more accurately, i think it happens when i lose my lifestyle of worship. things that i was once very thankful for and processed in prayer and in communion with the Holy Spirit just become routine. isn’t that a darn shame? i’m a spoiled little brat.

looking at my life, i can pretty much say that God has blessed me with everything i could have asked for at this point. but my level of thankfulness is not on par with the level of blessings. as a result, i’ve gradually displaced God on the throne with myself. it’s become all about me and i’m not a very good king. i’m tyrannical, jump to insane conclusions, and am largely negligent of other people’s needs. come to think of it, this just makes me a bad person!

but you see how this becomes about me again? it’s a vicious cycle.

not less of me but more of Him and more of others. i’ve recently become quite entangled with strategizing ways to maximize my financial situation. i’ve found that there are fewer paths that more quickly lead to selfishness and self-absorption than this one. as mundane as it sounds, thoughts of buying a new car to lower monthly payments and paying down my student loans faster have gripped my heart!

anyway, all this to say that a new leaf needs to be turned. John 3:30 relates to all spheres of my life right now.

 

i’m back

boy, my commitment to this blog fizzled quickly, didn’t it?

i’ve been busy with work and church and i guess this got neglected.

anyway, i just finished watching Kurt Cobain: About a Son. I didn’t think it was that great. Maybe it’s because I was never a huge Nirvana fan, but I never really understood the big deal with Cobain. I get that he’s iconic in the sense of having probably literally altered a generation through his music, but just because someone is a talented musician doesn’t suddenly make him worth listening to or following for that matter.

I just find this phenomenon fascinating. Not to bash on Cobain or Nirvana fans or anything but consider this. On what grounds is someone’s word worth listening to? In the same vein, why should what I say matter? Really, I don’t think it does or should at all. The only voice worth listening to is God’s Word and anyone or anything that God chooses to inspire. Someone speaking of their own merit or experience has only that much from which to draw. In the end, it is purely experiential and personal. There’s no guarantee that what works for you will work for me. However, God speaks from some place else altogether, doesn’t He?

I’m not saying that we should burn all of our other books or stop listening to secular music. (God knows how bored I’d be and how much money I would waste if that happened!) I guess this just reminds me to check which voices I’m listening to and, in essence, obeying. There are a lot of contending sides out there vying for our hearts, but there is only one truth. Those contenders will have a lot to say about who we are and how we should live, but there is only one that speaks out of love.

I like Nirvana and I liked Kurt Cobain, but I doubt that even he wanted to be exalted as much as he has been.

 

My Day in the Nation’s Capital

Not really a day so much as it was like four hours.

First thing that I have to mention is this cuz I’m semi-proud of myself. I was walking around Dupont Circle and there was a camera crew there from the local NBC station. I didn’t see them ask anyone else walking by. As I got closer, I saw the reporter point at me and say something to her cameraman. As I went by, she stopped me and asked if I had filed my taxes yet. She wanted to interview me and ask me what tax questions I had. I have already filed my taxes and so was not eligible for the interview. (I didn’t know what they were interviewing for beforehand, btw.) Being my prepared self, I was ready with my clever response: “If I made more money, I might had some questions.” So, does her stopping to ask me mean that I’m attractive enough to be interviewed on TV?! Of course…I’ve seen some people that get on-the-street interviews and let’s just say that rule doesn’t seem to apply. Anyway, that was my missed opportunity at being on DC TV.

Next and less vain item is that the GPS saved me! DC must have been designed by a sadist because it’s chock full of traffic circles (aka suicide circles)! You think the one on Golf in Des Plaines is bad? Multiply that city planning disaster by dozens of pedestrians (though they were surprisingly obedient to the traffic laws) and crazy drivers (though again, better than expected at obeying traffic and courtesy ethics…better than Philly drivers anyway =P). But man, at least in Dupont Circle, there was at least one coffee shop on every corner or not far down the block. In some respects, it’s my dream come true, but it was also a tad bit ridiculous.

On top of the traffic circles, the traffic was fairly heinous. Although, I must say that I had no problem finding meter spots in high-traffic areas. Unfortunately, I did not get to experience the highly-touted Metro public transit system.

My first impression of this city was very good. Being surrounded by history is a cool and humbling feeling and that was one of the reasons why I liked Philly’s historical area so much too. I also miss the open squares with fields and benches. Rittenhouse Square was definitely my favorite spot in Philly and seeing those in DC only reminded me of what’s missing in Chicago.

I spent some time just walking around the Dupont Circle area-partly getting lost but also finding my way back-and it was a lot of fun. The weather was nearly perfect with just the right amounts of sunlight, warmth, and breeze.

I also miss condensed urban areas. I don’t know why people think Chicago has a small city feel because it doesn’t. It feels big and it is big. The streets are wide and the sidewalks aren’t generally very well-populated. Of course, by the lake, it’s a different story, but generally speaking, I don’t think it has that feel at all. Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually ready to leave DC after my half-day of fun. I can see getting bored of this place better quickly. Also, I’ve been told that the food isn’t very good here. I had a chance to go to Ben’s Chili Bowl, a famous local spot for all things chili, and I gotta say, it wasn’t that great. Granted, chili has its creative limits, but come on, this is all you got, DC?? Also, why doesn’t every city in the country use vienna beef for hot dogs?! It is BY FAR the best beef to use for hot dog. That’s one thing that Chicago has that not enough cities have.
The thing I liked best was the vibe of the city. It had a pretty friendly feel and a very diverse population. I would expect nothing less from the nation’s capital.

As always, my entries are all over the place, but this one especially because I’m still in Reagan waiting for my flight. The gate I’m supposed to leave from still hasn’t sent its previous flight to St Louis (yet another reason to despise our backward neighbor down south).

So what’s the verdict? I enjoyed Baltimore/College Park/DC. It really just further enforces that I probably won’t be in Chicago for a whole lot longer. I think that my impending trip to Portland on April 3 will be a far greater indicator. But what to do now? This summer, I’m gonna go all out in Chicago. I’m talking museums, beach, concerts, the Taste (maybe, I think it’s overrated), and really getting fighting out what this city’s got.

There’s a guy eating who looks JUST LIKE JESSE JACKSON. I’m gonna assume it’s not him, but my goodness, talk about a spitting image! I got closer to take a pic with my phone and I realized that it’s not him and I am very racist…=/

 

Tim Keller and the reason for God

I had the chance to hear Tim Keller speak at a Veritas Forum at the University of Chicago this past Friday.

Like a faithful student, I took copious notes, but I will try to summarize them here with some “insights” thrown in for good measure. You can decide where my thoughts come in…but believe me, none of them are original =P

The basic outline of his talk was “5 Ways People Deal with Exclusive Truth Claims”
1. Hope it away
- Primary argument against is that religion simply cannot be ignored. The vast majority the world believes in some concept of God and that isn’t going to change.
2. Outlaw it away
- Primary argument against is that persecution seems to only strengthen religion, particularly Christianity. Even a brief look at church history and the Book of Acts attests to that and the growth of Christianity in China is the best contemporary example.
3. Explain it away => Trying to diminish the truth of God
- Primary argument against is that even evolutionary scientists are facing the reality that morality and the belief in God cannot simply be attributed to natural selection. They are essentially arguing from the viewpoint that our mental and sensory faculties cannot be trusted to perceive truth because they are dictated by our evolutionary instincts, but if that is the case, then those very same faculties cannot be trusted to believe that evolution is true. In other words, their logic falls apart on itself.
4. Argue/Condemn it away => Pass it off as narrow and divisive
- Main arguments in this camp are that 1. all religions are equally correct or 2. all religions are equally wrong.
1. Debunked by the fact that Jesus makes a completely unique claim from any other religious figure. Jesus’ character cannot be separated from His claims and therefore, He is either God or a madman. Either way, He is absolutely unique among the other religions. In addition, I might add, all religions posit their own “narrow” truth statements about ways to God. Even the most tolerant of religions (Buddhism) make their own truth claims about enlightenment.
2. Even those who claim that the truth is unknowable are making a “religious statement”. It is the philosophical stance that truth is beyond our grasp. Everyone, even atheists, are narrow about their claims regarding the nature of truth. This was a GREAT point that he made: narrowness is not what you believe but what your attitude toward those who do not share your perspective is. That inspired an “aha!” moment for me. =D
5. Privative it away => keep religion out of public forums and politics
- Primary argument against is that everyone, secular or religious, argues from a worldview. No worldview is objective because it is informed by personal experiences and opinions formed over time. What Keller proposes is a concept called “procedural secularism”. What this means is that the state is neutral and all perspectives are given equal footing in the political realm. In this democratic system, the perspective that garners the most support will ultimately win out. Now…that is a tad bit idealistic and appears to discount the amount of corruption and imperfection in the political process, but hey, maybe I’m just being cynical =P However, in principle, I really do support his stance.

The “solutions” to our current problems is two-fold. One is instituting procedural secularism. The second is to recognize that we, as Christians, have been part of the problem. We must repent and look to be part of the solution. We need to embrace the “Grace Narrative” that flows from the Gospel. Our salvation and Christian lives are wholly dependent on grace and we need to let God tell His story in this world instead of trying to impose our own. What I mean is, it comes down to a question of identity. Is our identity found in our relationship with God or with how the world perceives us as Christians or as individuals? Is our pride overriding the Gospel? Does Person X’s opinion of me matter more to me than God’s? In short, we need God’s internal transformation of our hearts before we can be effective ambassadors in this world. Of course, these go hand-in-hand because our transformation is ongoing and the world is never short of suffering that needs the love of Christ. So let’s go out and be God’s hands and feet by never leaving the foot of the cross.

 

Keller

So I’m going to the Tim Keller talk at UofC on Friday night. I’m geekily excited about it. Plus, it’s like the first time I’m hanging out with my small group from New Community outside of Sundays.

On a related note, please pray for our group…I’m leading Bible study for the first time on Wednesday. If you’ve been in my sg, you mean what a disaster that can be! Seriously though, please pray for our group. It’s a great group and I believe that God is doing and will continue to do even mightier things among us.

I also had a chance to meet up with some friends last night and as we shared about how things are going, I realized just how commonplace it is to struggle in this Christian life. But you know what? I was strangely encouraged by it. Not just because I enjoy seeing people suffer but for two other reasons!

1. We were being honest with each other about how hard things are. We’re too old for facades and fronts such as “things are good” or “it’s hard but God is good”. Look, these may be true, but VERY rarely are they the whole truth. The bottom line is, life is hard and it’s okay to admit that. It’s not weak to confess; it’s weak and cowardly to hide it from brothers and sisters in Christ that you trust. I was very encouraged that we were able to be more open with each other.

2. The fact that we recognize how hard life is is a blessing! When things are easy, chances are, we’re not paying God much mind. We’re probably floating about and “living life” without a second thought to spiritual matters and ultimately to what matters to God. It is at the points in our lives where we are exhausted of our resources that we confront God in more honest and intimate ways. Let’s face reality, most of us think that we’re good enough to carry on and succeed with our talents and skills. That is the very lie that keeps us from God and keeps us in the despair that self-reliance causes.

Religion is boring. Prescribed approaches to God are boring. We don’t have prescriptions when we hang out with our friends, we simply relate. So why the prescribed nonsense when it comes to God?

On a funny note, you know you’ve fallen into religious habits when you accidentally start every prayer by thanking God for this meal…

We all do it because it’s easier. It’s okay to struggle but it’s also necessary to be honest with God about it. He’s closer than we dare imagine. Why not take a risk, a “step of faith” and see what He does? Let’s not come to God and make demands that He meet us on our terms. Come with an open heart and see just how viciously He rips your terms apart and replaces them with His! =)

Good night.

 

it’s a leap

nothing much on my mind today except to say, i have a few trips coming up! =)

March 13-14 => University of Maryland, College Park for a fair!
Flying into Baltimore and out of DC (Reagan); quick in-and-out and off to New Com
retreat on the next day!

April 3-5 => Portland & Irvine!
Particularly excited about Portland b/c I hope to visit Western Seminary (on my short
list of places to go for seminary in the next few years)

April 30-May 5 => San Fran!
Kinda eager to learn wine tasting, see the hilly sights, and also looking forward to
putting flowers in our hair…(that just sounds weird if you don’t get the reference)

lastly, I’ve been reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. it’s very good and i highly recommend it. kudos to auggie for referring it. there’s something about well-crafted words on a page, ya know?

happy weekend! i’m going to tobyMac/Jeremy Camp tonight and painting all day tomorrow (should be fun!)

 

My Brain in Dumping (in the #2 sort of way)

Good morning

First, a shameless plug for The Chicago School of Professional Psychology (where I work). We have officially started a new campus in Los Angeles! Click on the link below. Purdy, eh?

LA Info Session Card

I got an absolute kick out of this hamburger phone in Juno . Whoever thought of that is a genius!

This is a pic of my small group at New Community Covenant Church (or some of us anyway). Last night was Pastor Stephen Sharkey’s last time leading. Yours truly is “taking over”. To celebrate, we went to an elaborate dinner…at Portillo’s!

Seriously though, Pastor Stephen (otherwise known as Sharkey) is a great leader and I am very thankful for the time that God allowed me to be shepherded under him. I can only pray for the grace and strength to lead as effectively and lovingly as he did.

To end, here is the entry from My Utmost for His Highest today. I was very very blessed and challenged this morning and I hope it does the same for you.

‘Do You Now Believe?’

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’By this we believe . . . .’ Jesus answered them, ’Do you now believe?’ —John 16:30-31

Now we believe. . . .” But Jesus asks, “Do you . . . ? Indeed the hour is coming . . . that you . . . will leave Me alone” ( John 16:31-32 ). Many Christian workers have left Jesus Christ alone and yet tried to serve Him out of a sense of duty, or because they sense a need as a result of their own discernment. The reason for this is actually the absence of the resurrection life of Jesus. Our soul has gotten out of intimate contact with God by leaning on our own religious understanding (see Proverbs 3:5-6 ). This is not deliberate sin and there is no punishment attached to it. But once a person realizes how he has hindered his understanding of Jesus Christ, and caused uncertainties, sorrows, and difficulties for himself, it is with shame and remorse that he has to return.

We need to rely on the resurrection life of Jesus on a much deeper level than we do now. We should get in the habit of continually seeking His counsel on everything, instead of making our own commonsense decisions and then asking Him to bless them. He cannot bless them; it is not in His realm to do so, and those decisions are severed from reality. If we do something simply out of a sense of duty, we are trying to live up to a standard that competes with Jesus Christ. We become a prideful, arrogant person, thinking we know what to do in every situation. We have put our sense of duty on the throne of our life, instead of enthroning the resurrection life of Jesus. We are not told to “walk in the light” of our conscience or in the light of a sense of duty, but to “walk in the light as He is in the light. . .” ( 1 John 1:7 ). When we do something out of a sense of duty, it is easy to explain the reasons for our actions to others. But when we do something out of obedience to the Lord, there can be no other explanation-just obedience. That is why a saint can be so easily ridiculed and misunderstood.

Sometimes, more so than by the entry itself, I am blessed by how many deep insights Oswald Chambers had. He had at least 366 (includes Feb 29!) and I’m sure there was no shortage from which to choose when he put this book together. He is an example of Psalm 1 and a model of walking with Jesus that I hope to emulate.

This is a lyric from a Wallflowers song (Days of Wonder) I was listening to on the way to work. I just like the way it rings:

Happy birthday to the war/Standing by the wall/A rainbow made of stars/Under seven different shades of gray/Spreading out across the arc/Days of wonder spent/Out there killing time/Now this may not leave a mark on me/But I sure as hell was there

 

The Inaugural Address

I decided to start this blog because I like to pass my thoughts into words – really this is for my own amusement. Hopefully it will be blessing, fun, entertaining, or at the very least, something that will make you feel better because you’re much cooler than me =)

The point of this first entry is simply to get the word out on interesting things I’ve been reading and listening to lately. Those of you who know me know that I am an unrepentant pop culture junkie. Given my desire for constant entertainment, I resort to trying to redeem my rather needy nature. Recently, and largely because I was drove for a good twelve hours in two days, I took up listening to sermon after sermon after sermon to keep my mind renewed and challenged. During that road trip turned mini-revival, I listened to sermons by Pastor Mark Driscoll (Seattle), Pastor Alistair Begg (Cleveland), Pastor Min Chung (Champaign), Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias (all over the place, I think based in ATL), and Pastor John Piper (Minneapolis). As I spanned the country, and perhaps the world, with these great thinkers and preachers of Christ, I felt a tremendous peace wash over me. For whatever reason, God has designed me in such a way that hearing His Word preached with passion and gusto revives my soul just about every time regardless of the state of my heart.

Another habit I’ve taken up again is reading. It’s a lost art of sorts but one place where I’ve always found solace. Maybe it’s because I want girls to see me reading and think that I’m smart. In fact, that’s probably what it is. In any case, it stuck with me. I think you can say that I’ve been obsessed with Donald Miller lately. He’s the author of Blue Like Jazz, which I read late last year. It was, and still is, one of my favorite books of all time and highly recommended. So I went ahead and bought his other three books: Through Painted Deserts, a book that documents his road trip with a buddy from Houston to Oregon, Searching for God Knows What, a refreshing take on the Gospel and Bible as a relational dynamic and not merely fodder for systematic thought, and To Own a Dragon, Miller’s thoughts on growing up without an earthly father, journey of learning how God is his true Father, and stories about those who helped him learn what fatherhood really is through their examples. Each book was a unique experience and I really really love his style, his insights, and his honesty. Please read these books.

Music-wise, I’ve been listening to more Derek Webb. It’s good stuff, though admittedly, it takes a few listens. The first listen gives you a brush of his depth but doesn’t tell the whole story. Pay close attention to the lyrics and understand that he says certain things touch-in-cheek and not entirely seriously.

To sort of bring this thing to a head, I listened to Donald Miller’s podcast this morning. It’s rather sparse, it only contains a 30-minute bit of a reading he did to promote To Own a Dragon and 3-part internet interview with Miller and Derek Webb. They talk about current issues, the Gospel, and pretty much everything in-between. It was a really thoughtful-provoking conversation and again is worth a listen.

In the future, I think I’m going to just spill my thoughts onto this blog and it may end up being rather incoherent. I suppose I’m past the point of caring anymore. There are so many things to think about and consider and if anyone, at any point, can be encouraged by it, then it was probably worth it.

Until next time